Craig's coffee shop
by AngelLuvPrincess123
Summary: This story is a parody of charlottes web by E.B White
1. Before breakfast

"Where's dad going with that ax?" said Stan to his mother as they were setting the table for breakfast.

"Out to the nursery," replied Sharon. "Some babies were born last night."

"I don't see why he needs an ax," continued Stan, who was only eight. "Well," said his mother, "one of the babies is a runt. It's very small and weak, and it will never amount to anything. So your father has decided to do away with it."

"Do away with it?" shrieked Stan. "You mean kill it? Just because it's smaller than the others?"

Sharon put a pitcher of cream on the table. "Don't yell, Stanley!" she said. "Your father is right. The baby would probably die anyway."

Stan pushed a chair out of the way and ran outdoors. The grass was wet and the earth smelled of springtime. Stan's sneakers were sopping by the time he caught up with his father.

"Please don't kill it!" he sobbed. "It's unfair."

Randy stopped walking.

"Stan," he said gently, "you will have to learn to control yourself."

"Control myself?" yelled Stan. "This is a matter of life and death, and you talk about controlling myself." Tears ran down his cheeks and he took hold of the ax and tried to pull it out of his father's hand.

"Stan," said Randy, "I know more about raising an infant than you do. A weakling makes trouble. Now run along!"

"But it's unfair," cried Stan. "The baby couldn't help being born small, could it? If I had been very small at birth, would you have killed me?"

Randy smiled. "Certainly not," he said, looking down at his son with love. "But this is different. A little boy is one thing, a little runty baby is another."

"I see no difference," replied Stan, still hanging on to the ax. "This is the most terrible case of injustice I ever heard of."

A queer look came over Randy's face. He seemed almost ready to cry himself.

"All right," he said. "You go back to the house and I will bring the runt when I come in. I'll let you start it on a bottle, like a baby. Then you'll see what trouble a baby can be."

When Randy returned to the house half an hour later, he carried a carton under his arm. Stan was upstairs changing his sneakers. The kitchen table was set for breakfast, and the room smelled of coffee, bacon, damp plaster, and wood smoke from the stove.

"Put it on his chair!" said Sharon. Randy set the carton down at Stan's place. Then he walked to the sink and washed his hands and dried them on the roller towel.

Stan came slowly down the stairs. His eyes were red from crying. As he approached his chair, the carton wobbled, and there was a scratching noise. Stan looked at his father. Then he lifted the lid of the carton. There, inside, looking up at him, was the newborn baby. It had blond hair. The morning light shone through its eyes, turning them green.

"He's yours," said Randy. "Saved from an untimely death. And may the good Lord forgive me for this foolishness."

Stan couldn't take his eyes off the tiny baby. "Oh," he whispered. "Oh, look at him! He's absolutely perfect."

He closed the carton carefully. First he kissed his father, then he kissed his mother. Then he opened the lid again, lifted the baby out, and held it against his cheek. At this moment his sister Shelley came into the room. Shelley was twelve. She was heavily armed - an air rifle in one hand, a wooden dagger in the other.

"What's that?" she demanded. "What's Stan got?"

"He's got a guest for breakfast," said Sharon. "Wash your hands and face, Shelley."

"Let's see it!" said Shelley, setting her gun down. "You call that miserable thing a baby? That's a fine specimen of a baby - it's no bigger than a fat child."

"Wash up and eat your breakfast, Shelley!" said her mother. "The school bus will be along in half an hour."

"Can I have a baby, too, dad?" asked Shelley.

"No, I only distribute babies to early risers," said Randy. "Stan was up at daylight, trying to rid the world of injustice. As a result, he now has a baby. A small one, to be sure, but nevertheless a baby. It just shows what can happen if a person gets out of bed promptly. Let's eat!"

But Stan couldn't eat until his baby had had a drink of milk. Sharon found a baby's nursing bottle and a rubber nipple. She poured warm milk into the bottle, fitted the nipple over the top, and handed it to Stan. "Give him his breakfast!" she said.

A minute later, Stan was seated on the floor in the corner of the kitchen with his infant between his knees, teaching it to suck from the bottle. The baby, although tiny, had a good appetite and caught on quickly.

The school bus honked from the road.

"Run!" commanded Sharon, taking the baby from Stan and slipping a doughnut into his hand. Shelley grabbed her gun and another doughnut.

The children ran out to the road and climbed into the bus. Stan took no notice of the others in the bus. He just sat and stared out of the window, thinking what a blissful world it was and how lucky he was to have entire charge of a baby. By the time the bus reached school, Stan had named his friend, selecting the most beautiful name he could think of.

"It's name is Tweek," he whispered to himself.

He was still thinking about the boy when Mr. Garrison said: "Stan, what is the capital of Pennsylvania?"

"Tweek," said Stan, dreamily. The pupils giggled. Stan blushed.


	2. Tweek

Stan loved Tweek more than anything. He loved to stroke him, to feed him, to put him to bed. Every morning, as soon as he got up, he warmed him milk, tied his bib on, and held the bottle for him. Every afternoon, when the school bus stopped in front of his house, he jumped out and ran to the kitchen to fix another bottle for him. He fed him again at suppertime, and again just before going to bed. Sharon gave him a feeding around noontime each day, when Stan was away at school. Tweek loved him milk, and he was never happier than when Stan was warming up a bottle for him. He would stand and gaze at him with his adoring eyes.

For the first few days of his life, Tweek was allowed to sleep in Stan's room, which was made very comfortable. Then, when Shelley would hurt Tweek like she did to Stan, he was moved to his closet. At one year of age, he was moved to the reflection room. It was apple-blossom time, and the days were getting warmer. Randy turned the room into a bedroom specially for Tweek with a beautiful view of the mountains, and toys he could play with.

"Won't he be cold at night?" asked Stan.

"No," said his father. "You watch and see what he does."

Carrying a bottle of milk, Stan sat down into Tweek's bedroom in the gorgeous glass dome. Tweek waddled to him and he held the bottle for him while he sucked. When he had finished the last drop, he grunted and waddled sleepily into the crib. Stan peered through the door. Tweek was adorably sucking his thumb. In a short time he had played with his toys. He crawled on the floor and stacked a tower of blocks, and originally knocked them down. Stan was enchanted. It relieved his mind to know that baby Tweek would sleep on his bed and on the floor at the same time.

Every morning after breakfast, Tweek walked out to the road with Stan and waited with him till the bus came. He would wave goodbye to him, and he would stand and watch the bus until it vanished around a turn. While Stan was in school, Tweek was silent inside his glass-ceilinged bedroom. But as soon as he got home in the afternoon, he would take him out and he would follow him around South Park. If he went into the house, Tweek went too. If he went upstairs, Tweek would wait at the bottom step until he came down again. If he took his doll for a walk in the doll carriage, Tweek followed along. Sometimes, on these journeys, Tweek would get tired, and Stan would pick him up and put him in the carriage alongside the doll. He liked this. And if he was very tired, he would close his eyes and go to sleep under the doll's blanket. He looked cute when his eyes were closed, because all babies are like that a lot. The doll would close her eyes too, and Stan would wheel the carriage very slowly and smoothly so as not to wake them.

One warm afternoon, Stan, Shelley, and his best friend, Kyle put on their bathing suits and went down to starks pond for a swim. Tweek tagged along at Stan's heels. When he waded into the pond, Tweek waded in with him. He found the water quite cold-too cold for his liking. So while the children swam and played and splashed water at each other, Tweek amused himself with drinking coffee which was warm and very relaxing.

Everyday was a happy day, and every night was peaceful.

Tweek was what people call a caffine-outcast, which simply means he drinks coffee a lot. When he was the same age as Stan (8), Randy said he was old enough to get a year round job, and would have to let him go. Stan broke down and wept. But his father was firm about it. Tweek's appetite had increased; he was beginning to drink more and more coffee, less than milk. Randy was not willing to provide for him any longer. He had already hired the rest of the babies.

"He's got to go Stan," he said. "You have had your fun raising a baby, but Tweek is not a baby any longer and has to get a year round job."

"There's a new coffee shop in South Park that opened last week." suggested Sharon to Stan. "They are hiring employees to work there, you can visit the shop anytime you want and see Tweek."

"How much money is it for one job?" Stan wanted to know.

"Well," said his father, "he's a runt. Tell the mayor that Tweek wants a job at the new coffee shop in town and see what she says."

It was soon arranged. Stan phoned and got uncle jimbo, and he hollered to the mayor, and she came to the shop and put the help wanted sign in front of the window. When she heard the stuff that Stan heard, she said she would hire Tweek. The next day, Tweek was taken from the marsh house and went to work at the store in town.


	3. Escape

The shop was very large. It was very beautiful. It smelled of doughnuts and it smelled of coffee. It smelled of customers and the wonderful sweetness of sprinkles. It often had a sort of peaceful smell- as though nothing bad could happen ever again in the world. It smelled of stuff like the usual smell of a dunkin doughnuts. But mostly it smelled of coffee, for there was always coffee being given to hungry customers.

The shop was pleasantly warm in the winter when people spent most of their time indoors, and it was pleasantly cool in the summer when windows are stood wide open to the breeze. The shop had a counter with built in chair like at a bar, and checker-patterned floors, it was full of all sorts of things that you find in shops. It was the kind of shop that people go to relax. It was the kind of shop that people work at for shorten jobs. And the whole shop was own by the town of South Park.

Tweek's sleeping spot was behind the counter of the shop. The store's boss knew that it was a safe place for him.

Stan came almost every day to visit him. He found a coffee dispenser and asked him very nicely for a doughnut, and Tweek has done so. Here he sat quietly during the long afternoons thinking and listening and watching Tweek. People soon got to know him and everyone trusted him because he was so quiet and friendly. The boss did not want him to take Tweek out, and he did not allow him to get behind the counter. But he told Stan that he could sit down and watch Tweek as long as he wanted to. It made him happy just to be near him, and it made Tweek happy to know that he was sitting there, right outside his door. But he never had any fun- no walks, no rides, no swims.

One afternoon in June, when Tweek was 8 years old, he wandered around the counter. Stan had not arrived for his usual visit. Tweek stood there feeling lonely and bored.

"There's never anything to do around here," he thought. He walked slowly to the fridge to get a frozen doughnut, he was tired of doing his job for a long time.

"I'm only 8 years old and I want to quit," he said. He walked out of the counter again.

"When I'm out here," he said, "there's no place to go but in. When I'm indoors, there's no place to go but out in town."

"That's where you're wrong, my f-f-f-friend," said a voice.

Tweek looked up and saw an employee about his age with crutches. "Who are you?" he asked.

"My name is Jimmy Valmer." replied Jimmy.

"I'm Tweek." he explained.

"You don't have to work at this d-d-d-d-dirty-little place," said Jimmy, who talked rather stutterly. "One of the boards is loose. P-p-p-p-p-push on it, and come on out!"

"What?" said Tweek. "Say it more clearly!"

"A-a-at the risk of repeating myself," said Jimmy, "I suggest that you come on out. It's wonderful out here."

"Did you say a board was loose?"

"Tha-tha-that I did," said Jimmy.

Tweek walked up to the counter and saw that Jimmy was right-one board was loose. He grabbed the board, shut his eyes, and pushed. The board gave way. In a minute he had opened the door and was standing on the sidewalk outside of the shop. Jimmy chuckled.

"How does it feel to have a job?" he asked.

"I like it," said Tweek. "That is, I guess I like it."

Actually, Tweek felt queer to be outside the shop, with nothing to do but work.

"Where do you think I'd better go?"

"Anywhere you l-like," said Jimmy. "Like the mall, Stan's school, anywhere you could wish to go to! The world is a wonderful place when you're young."

"I can see that," replied Tweek. He took off his apron and hat and walked all around South Park. It was beautiful. He had a great time before anyone noticed him. The mayor was the first to see him. She saw him from her office window, and she immediately shouted for the employees.

"We have an employee cutting his job!" she cried.

"Oh no," thought Tweek. "They noticed me."

Jimmy heard what happened and he started calling. "R-r-r-run to us before it's too l-l-late!" he shouted to Tweek. "Or they'll f-f-fire you."

The townspeople heard the commotion, and they started to chase him too. Even the police noticed the racket, and they started driving towards him.

"You should be ashamed of yourself," said one of the police. "Cutting from your job is just wrong!"

The news of Tweek's escape spread rapidly across South Park. Even the employees at the coffee shop realized the escape.

Tweek didn't know what to do. It seemed as though everybody was after him. "If this is what it's like to be free," he thought, "I believe I'd rather be working at the shop."

The police and firemen chased after Tweek from the other side.

"Oh god," thought Tweek. "This is way too much pressure!" He began to cry.

Jimmy took command and began to give orders. "Don't just stand there, Tweek! R-r-run to us!" cried Jimmy. "H-h-hurry up!"

The other employees shouted at Tweek to get to them fast.

"Come on!" suggested Clyde.

"You're almost there!" yelled Nathan.

"Don't let them catch you!" cried Butters.

"Watch out!" added Kyle.

"You're not too late!" shouted Kenny.

"Jump for it!" called Token.

"Don't get arrested!" yelled Scott.

"You can do it Tweek!" cried Butters.

"I'm hungry!" screamed a little girl.

Poor Tweek was dazed and frightened by the police chasing him. He didn't like to be around strangers at all. He tried to follow the instructions his friends were giving him, but he jump over a pothole in the street, and at the same time, he was crying so hard he closed his eyes so he wouldn't see the drop until Butters caught him and the police gave up chasing the boy all across South Park.

"Whew, that was scary!" Tweek said in relief.

"I'm very sorry I let you go outside the shop." Jimmy apologized.

"You could've been fired, or completely killed." replied Butters.

Tweek just sighed and said, "That's ok, I understand."

Tweek had felt sorry for his new friends and they all forgiven him. By closing time at 8 o clock, Tweek was ready for bed.

"I knew I shouldn't have gone out like I was told not too," he thought as he lay down.


	4. Loneliness

The next day was rainy and dark. Rain fell on the roofs of the buildings in the town of South Park. Rain spattered against the windows of the coffee shop and down the rain gutters.

When the people were tired of getting wet outside, they went indoors.

Rain upset Tweek's plans. Tweek had planned to go out, this day, and go shopping for better shoes. He had other plans, too. His plans for the day went something like this:

Breakfast at six-thirty. Cappuccino, with doughnuts. Breakfast would be finished at seven.

From seven to eight, Tweek planned to have a talk with Eric Cartman, the fat boy who works here for a year too. Talking with Cartman was not the most interesting occupation in the world but it was better than nothing.

From nine to eleven he planned to drink coffee and share it with customers.

From eleven to twelve he planned to stand still and watch the clouds form shapes into fun things.

Twelve o clock-Lunchtime, same as usual at the coffee shop. Lunch would be over at one.

From one to two, Tweek planned to take a nap.

From two to three, he planned to drink more coffee and be more jittery.

From three to four, he planned to stand perfectly still and wait for Stan.

At four would become supper.

Tweek had gone to sleep thinking about these plans. He awoke at six and saw the rain, and it seemed as though he couldn't bear it.

"I get everything all beautifully planned out and it has to go and rain," he said.

For a while he stood gloomily indoors. Then he looked at the door no one was coming inside. He went to the freezer, Cartman was nowhere to be seen.

"Are you in here, Cartman?" Called Tweek. There was no answer. Suddenly Tweek felt lonely and friendless.

"One day just like another," he groaned. "I'm only 8, I have no real friends here at this shop, it's going to rain all morning and all afternoon, and Stan won't come in such bad weather. Too much pressure!" And Tweek was crying again, for the second time in two days.

At six-thirty Tweek heard teenagers walk up to the counter telling him to give them coffee.

"Hello, will you give us some coffee?" one of them said.

Tweek did not budge. They said nothing and just left, they notice that something was wrong with him.

Tweek did not want to work, he wanted love. He wanted a friend-someone who would care for him. He mentioned this to Jimmy, who was mopping the floors.

"Will you hang out with me?" he asked.

"S-s-sorry," said Jimmy. "I have 8 invitations for 8 girls to come. I don't have time to h-hang out right now."

"Uh, okay then." said Tweek, bitterly.

Tweek next tried Butters.

"Will you please hang out with me?" he asked.

"No thanks," said Butters. "If I hang out with you without permission, I'll get grounded.

"Oh I'm sorry to hear about that!" replied Tweek.

"But thanks for asking!" said Butters.

Sadly, Tweek lay down and listened to the rain. Soon he saw the fat boy coming from the freezing feeling tired.

"Will you hang out with me, Cartman?" asked Tweek.

"What?" said Cartman, rubbing his eyes. "Oh ho ho, no ho!"

"Why not?" asked Tweek.

"I don't hang out with newbees like you, replied the fat boy, sourly. "I prefer to spend my time eating fried chicken, playing video games, and hating hippies. I'm a junk food outcast, not a princess. Right now I'm doing whatever my job is, so just hang out with yourself. And he walked away with hate.

Tweek watched him go into the freezer. He knew Cartman would freeze to death in there but even that didn't comfort him.

Friendless, dejected, and hungry, he buried his face in his arms and sobbed.

Late afternoon, the teenagers went to the coffee shop.

"What's wrong with him, he hasn't eaten anything."

"I think he just hates his job!" they said.

Tweek couldn't believe what was happening to him when he had no friends by his side. It was certainly the worst day of his life. He didn't know whether he could endure the awful loneliness any more.

Darkness settled over everything. Soon there was no one hear except the employees and him. Suddenly a small voice surprised Tweek.

"Do you want a friend, Tweek?" it said. "I'll be a friend to you. I've watched you all day and I like you."

"But I can't see you," said Tweek, raising his head. "Where are you? And who are you?"

"I'm right up here," said the voice. "Go to sleep. You'll see me in the morning."


	5. Craig

The night seemed long. Tweek's stomach was empty and his mind was full, which made it hard for him to sleep.

A dozen times during the night Tweek woke and stared into the blackness, listening to the sounds and trying to figure out what it was. A coffee shop is never perfectly quiet. Even at midnight there is usually something stirring.

The first time he woke, he heard Cartman sleeping in the freezer. He would've been cold and frozen at that point.

"Oh my god!" thought Tweek. "Why does he have to stay up all night, eating ice cream and dancing the Cha-cha? Why can't he go to sleep, like any other person?"

The second time Tweek woke, he heard Jimmy banging on the counter with his crutches.

"What time is it?" whispered Tweek to Jimmy.

"P-p-probably about half past e-eleven," said Jimmy. "Why aren't you asleep, Tweek?"

"Too many things on my mind," he answered.

"Well," said Jimmy, "that's not my trouble. I have nothing at all on my mind, but I've too many things in my bag. Have you ever met eight girls before?"

"No," replied Tweek. "I suppose it is too much pressure. How long does take for eight girls to come?"

"A-a-approximately thirty minutes, all told," answered Jimmy. But I cheat a little. On warm afternoons, I just call them on the phone and have little conversations."

Tweek yawned and went back to sleep. In his dreams he heard again the voice saying, "I'll be a friend to you. Go to sleep-you'll see me in the morning."

About half an hour before dawn, Tweek woke and listened. The shop was still dark. Butters was asleep on the chair. Even Jimmy was quiet. Overhead, nothing stirred: Clyde was resting along with Kyle, Scott, Token, even Kenny. They all dozed off. Even Cartman fell asleep in the freezer again. The only sound was the morning birds singing, like they do in the spring time. Tweek loved the shop when it was like this-calm and quiet, waiting for the light.

"Day is almost here," he thought.

In the distance, a faint gleam appeared over the town of South Park. One by one the stars went out. Tweek could see Jimmy looking out the window. He stood there holding eight pictures of the eight girls he invited. Then he could see Butters flipping the open-closed sign. The sky lightened.

"Oh, beautiful day, it is here at last! Today I shall find my friend."

Tweek looked everywhere in the shop. He searched the kitchen thoroughly. He examined the freezer. But he saw no one new. Finally he decided he would have to speak up. He hated to break the lovely stillness of Dawn by using his voice, but he couldn't think of any other way to locate the mysterious new friend who was nowhere to be seen. So Tweek cleared his throat.

"Attention please!" he said in a loud, firm voice. "Will the party who addressed me at bedtime last night kindly make himself or herself known by giving an appropriate sign or signal!"

Tweek paused and listened. All the other employees looked at him and stared at him. Tweek blushed. But he was determined to get in touch with his unknown friend.

"Attention please!" he said. "I will repeat the message. Will the party who addressed me at bedtime last night kindly speak up. Please tell me where you are, if you are my friend!"

Butters looked at him in disgust.

"Stop your nonsense,Tweek!" said Butters, if you have a new friend here, you are probably disturbing his rest; and the quickest way to spoil a friendship is to wake somebody up in the morning before he is ready. How can you be sure your friend is an early riser?"

"I beg everyone's pardon," whispered Tweek. "I didn't mean to be objectionable."

He sat down meekly behind the counter, facing the glass door. He did not know it, but his friend was very near. And Butters was right-the friend was still asleep.

Soon the teenagers came once again. Tweek gave them the things they've ordered and when they left, he settled down for a morning nap, he heard again the thin voice that had addressed him the night before.

"Salutations!" said the voice.

Tweek jumped to his feet. "Salu-what?" he cried.

"Salutations!" repeated the voice.

Tweek's eyes went wide. "What are they, and where are you?" he screamed. "Please, please, tell me where you are. And what are salutations?"

"Salutations are greetings," said the voice. "When I say 'salutations,' it's just my fancy way of saying hello or good morning. Actually, it's a silly expression, and I'm surprised that I used it at all. As for my whereabouts, that's easy. Look over here in the corner of the shop! Here I am. Look, I'm waving!"

At last Tweek saw the person that had spoken to him in such a kindly way. In the corner of the shop was a boy about his age. He had thick black hair, a dark blue hat with a yellow poof ball on top, dark blue eyes, and was wearing the same uniform Tweek was wearing. He stood up to him in a friendly way.

"See me now?" he asked.

"Oh, yes indeed," said Tweek. "Yes indeed! How are you? Good morning! Salutations! Very pleased to meet you. What's your name, please? May I have your name?"

"My name," said the boy, "is Craig."

"Craig what?" asked Tweek, eagerly.

"Craig Tucker. But just call me Craig."

"I think you're beautiful," Tweek said, with happiness.

"Well, I'm pretty," replied Craig. "There's no denying that. Almost everyone is rather nice-looking. I'm not as gaudy as some, but I'll do. I know I can see you, Tweek, as clearly as you can see me."

"Do you work here too Craig?" asked Tweek. "This is my first time."

"Yes, but I've worked here every since I was five," replied Craig. "My dad wanted me to have a year-long job like you. Watch how I serve customers."

People who've been waiting in line caught Tweek's attention when Craig was showing him how he does his job.

"First," said Craig, "I write down what they want." He wrote the requests down on a little sheet of paper.

"Next, I make their requests." He pulled the lever of the samovar, and hot coffee poured out of it into the plastic cup. Tweek watched in horror. He could hardly believe what he was seeing, he saw that Craig was drinking the coffee before giving it to the customers.

"There!" said Craig. Now I give them the thing they wanted, so they won't complain." He gave the coffee to them. "That's how I do my job," he remarked. "I love working at this store."

"You mean you drink coffee too?" gasped Tweek.

"Certainly. Cappuccinos, machiattos, anything that comes to my mind. I love being here, don't I?"

"Why, yes, of course," said Tweek. "Do they taste good?"

"Delicious. Of course, I don't literally drink them. I add a drop of blood in it. I like blood," said Craig, and his pleasant, thin voice grew even thinner and more pleasant.

"Don't say that!" groaned Tweek. "It's way too much pressure!"

"Why not? It's true, and I have to say what is honest. I'm not entirely happy about my diet of coffee like you, but it's the way I am. I have to do something for customers so they can be happy, and I happen to work here too. I just naturally do my job the usual way. My dad worked here before me. My grandfather worked here before him. My family worked here too. We've been making our own choices for the last few years."

"It's a miserable inheritance," said Tweek, gloomily. He was a little sad because his new friend was pretty bloodthirsty.

"Yes, it is," agreed Craig. "But I couldn't help it. I didn't know why I was wanted to have a year-round job like you."

"Me neither," replied Tweek, who didn't intend to be argued out of his position.

"Well, it was unexpected," said Craig. "When I was only four years old, my parents told me to have a year round job. It was an amazing dream come true. When I first got there, my dad taught me and my little sister how to be careful, and to do what's best for us. And as for you," said Craig, putting his arm around Tweek. "It wouldn't be South Park without a place for caffine like a Dunkin Doughnuts, or an IHOP, or any other place for breakfast."

"Really?" said Tweek. "I wouldn't want that to happen. My parents had a divorce, when I was a baby, so I was raised by the marsh family, and by a young boy named Stan. Perhaps being here is not so bad after all."

Jimmy had been listening to this conversation and talking to himself. "Having Tweek here is actually a pretty good thing," he said. "He's a very good person. He knows that we're all like him, in a good way." And then Jimmy look at his pictures of the 8 girls he invited in his pocket just to be safe.

One night, Craig stood there quietly mopping the floors. Tweek lay down and closed his eyes. He was tired from his wakeful night and from the excitement of meeting someone for the first time. Tweek took out his journal and began to write in it.

 _"Dear journal,"_ he wrote, _"I've got a new friend. Craig is very nice to me, even though he may seem fierce, brutal, scheming, or bloodthirsty. I can still learn from him in the positive way. Yours truly, Tweek."_

Tweek was merely suffering the doubts and fears that often go with finding a new friend. In good time he was to discover that he was mistaken about Craig. Underneath his rather bold and cruel exterior, he had a kind heart, and he was to prove loyal and true to the very end.


	6. Summer Days

The early summer days in South Park are the happiest and fairest days of the year. Lilacs bloom and make the air sweet, and then fade. Apple blossoms come with the lilacs, and the bees visit around among the apple trees. The days grow warm and soft. School ends, and children have time to play and to fish for trouts in Stark's Pond. Shelley often brought home a trout in her pocket, warm and stiff and ready to be fried for dinner.

Now that school was over, Stan visited the shop almost everyday, to sit down on his chair. The employees treated him as an equal. He felt so comfortable.

One day, the three girls that Jimmy invited arrived at the shop. It was an important event at the coffee shop. Stan was there, sitting on his chair, when it happened.

Except for Jimmy himself, Craig was the first to know that the girls had at last arrived. Jimmy knew a day in advance that they were coming-he could hear their voices from outside the shop. Butters knew that they really wanted to go inside. So he flipped the open/closed sign around, and opened the door.

The girl's names were Wendy, Bebe, Red, Millie, Annie, Sally, Lola, and Heidi. After they told them their names, Craig made an announcement.

"I am sure," he said, "that everyone of us here will be gratified to learn that after four weeks of unremitting effort and patience on the part of our friend Jimmy, he now has something to show for it. The girls have arrived. May I offer my sincere congratulations!"

"Th-th-thank you!" said Jimmy, nodding and bowing stutterly.

"Congratulations!" shouted Tweek. "Where are all the others? I can only see Red."

"They're right over here," said Jimmy.

All of the girls, except Heidi, were hugging Jimmy with ease. At this point, Cartman walked out of the freezer. He glanced at Stan, then crept furiously towards Jimmy, and slapped him across the face. Everyone watched him in shock.

"Jimmy," he began in his sharp voice, "you said you invited seven girls. You had 8 pictures. Where's Heidi? WHY IS SHE NOT NEAR YOU?!"

"She's a little bit sh-sh-sh-shy, I guess," answered Jimmy.

"What are you going to do with her?" continued Cartman, his eyes fixed on Jimmy.

"You can have her," replied Jimmy. You can hang out with her anytime you want to."

"Alright then." answered Cartman.

At this point, he held Heidi's hand and walked into the freezer with her. After that, Tweek was talking to Craig quietly. "Imagine wanted to hang out with a shy girl inside a freezer!" he muttered.

"A fat boy is a fat boy," said Craig. He laughed a tinkling little laugh.

With 7 girls, and Heidi hanging with Cartman, the shop would continue to expand the money it will receive.


	7. Bad News

Tweek liked Craig better and better each day. He was starting to become nice and friendly to him, and it felt amazing.

Tweek admired the way Craig managed. He was particularly glad that he always washed his hands before getting to work.

"It's really important to always use hygiene before doing a job." he said.

"Yes," he replied in his sweet, musical voice, "I always do that so I won't get sick."

As the days went by, Tweek loved having Craig around. He helped him work at the shop every day. He even drank more and more coffee. One afternoon, when Stan was sitting on his chair, Kenny walked out of the kitchen, and stopped to pay a call to Tweek.

"Hello!" he said. "Sees to me you're getting a little jittery."

"Yes, I guess I am," replied Tweek. "At my age I know I have to do something here."

"Just the same, I don't envy you," said Kenny. "You know why you're getting all jittery, don't you?"

"No," said Tweek.

"Well, I don't like to spread bad news," said Kenny, "but you're getting jittery because they're going to kill you, that's why."

"They're going to what?" screamed Tweek. Stan grew rigid on his chair.

"Kill you. Turn you into immortal." continued Kenny. "Sometimes when people don't like what they hate, they decide to kill him or her. It pretty much a conspiracy in the town of South Park. Gerald broflovski, Steven Stotch, even Randy Marsh is in this plot."

"Randy Marsh?" sobbed Tweek. "Stan's father?"

"Certainly. They've done the same thing to me each and ever day. The townspeople take out their guns and then they shoot the..."

"Stop!" screamed Tweek. "I don't want to die! This is way too much pressure!" Stan was just about to jump up when a voice was heard.

"Be quiet, Tweek!" said Craig, who had been listening to this awful conversation.

"I can't be quiet," screamed Tweek, banging on the counter, causing customers to gasp in shock. "I don't want to be killed. I don't want to die. Is it true what Kenny says, Craig? Is it true they are going to kill me?"

"Well," he said. "Kenny had been dying a long time. He has witnessed death Day after day. If he says they plan to kill you, I'm sure it's true. It's also the dirtiest trick I ever heard of. What people don't think of!"

Tweek burst into tears. "I don't want to die," he moaned. "I want to stay alive, right here at the coffee shop. and be with my friends."

"You're certainly making a beautiful noise," snapped Kenny.

"I don't want to die!" screamed Tweek, throwing himself to the ground.

"You shall not die," said Craig, briskly.

"What? Really?" cried Tweek. "Who's going to save me?"

"I am," said Craig.

"How?" asked Tweek

"That remains to be seen. But I am going to save you, and I want you to quiet down immediately l. You're carrying on in a childish way. Stop your crying! I can't stand hysterics."


End file.
